impact

EMOTIONAL IMPACT

Surviving the Emotional Impact of Sexual Assault

You play the most important role in taking care of your emotional healing. Here are some ideas to help you start the healing process.

Common Reactions:

Everyone experiences the impact of sexual assault in their own way. This list is some common experiences of survivors. You will not

experience them at any specific time or in any specific order. You may not have all of these reactions. With time and support from family, friends and/or therapy, you can manage these feelings.

You may feel very emotional at times and detached or numb at other times.
It may seem harder to keep up with your everyday activities.
You may feel sad and depressed.
You may be very angry.
You may feel like no one believes you.
You might feel like everyone knows about what happened.
You may find that it is harder to be intimate with people.
You may have phobias related to the assault.
You may find that you are afraid of people who resemble your attacker, afraid of the dark, or of being outdoors.
You may be afraid of being alone.
You may go through physical reactions like an increase in body aches, headaches, muscle cramps, and/or tension.
You may have nightmares and feel like you are reliving the assault.
You may be experience changes in eating (eating more or eating less) and sleeping habits (sleeping more or sleeping less).
You may blame yourself for what happened.

No matter how it may feel, the assault/abuse was not your fault!

SELF CARE

Everyone uses different ways to take care of themselves but when you experience a crisis or trauma it can be hard to remember what it feels like to be okay. The healing process takes time. You need to listen to your mind and body to see what will help you care for you.

Find Out What Works Best For You...

TAKE THE TIME TO CARE FOR YOURSELF.

Stay with supportive family or friends for a few days.
Take time off from your work or school.
Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Try some different things to do that help you relax.
Express your feelings in a safe way. For example: writing (letters, poems, journal), drawing, exercise, punching pillows, screaming in the shower, talking to a counselor, therapist, or friend
Be patient with yourself.

HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO RELAX:

Take a bubble bath (maybe even burn some candles & listen to soothing music while you soak!).
Watch happy movies.
Read a good book.
Hang out with friends.
Pamper your body (massage therapy, essential oils, aromatherapy).
Take walks with a friend.
Keep a journal.

Your friends and family may be feeling confused and scared. They may not know what to say or how to react. Be direct. Tell them what you need or don’t need from them. Refer them to “Helpful Information for Friends & Family” section that talks about how your friends & family can help. Remember: you know what is best for you.

If You Are a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender Survivor

Heterosexism and homophobia can make it difficult for LGBT persons to find help. Bisexual, questioning, and transgender people in particular may experience insensitivity to their gender identity or sexual identity.

You have the right to choose not to disclose your sexual orientation or gender identity.

You have the right to nonjudgmental services and to receive emotional support throughout the healing process.

Sometimes, more often than we think, older or more experienced LGBT people may exploit the sexual inexperience of younger and just “out” people. For people who have had little experience with intercourse, an assault involving penetration may be especially traumatic or painful. LGBT survivors of sexual violence sometimes have difficulty recognizing or naming their experiences as sexual violence. Sexual violence also affects one’s relationship with one’s sexual identity. However, sexual violence won’t make a gay person straight or a straight person gay.
A concern for men in particular is that it is not unusual to have an erection or other physiological response to sexual assault. This is your body’s response and does not reflect your emotional/mental response. When your body responds, it can create feelings of confusion, guilt or doubt.
You may share the same circle of friends as the perpetrator. This can leave you feeling very isolated. The Center and Wingspan are here for you.

SUPPORT IS AVAILABLE 24 HOURS.THE SOUTHERN ARIZONA CENTER

AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT’S CRISIS LINE (520) 327-7273

1-800-400-1001

Or The Wingspan Anti-Violence Project Crisis Line

(LGBT domestic violence / sexual violence / hate crimes / harassment/ discrimination)

(520) 624-0348

If You Are A Person With A Disability

People with disabilities experience sexual assault and abuse at higher rates than the rest of the population. It can be challenging to report and receive services because of lack of accessible service, providers who are educated about your needs and being believed.

You have the right to accessible services and to receive emotional support throughout the healing process.

You have a right to live with dignity and respect. Your body belongs to you and it is not okay for anyone to touch you without your permission. It does not matter if they are a caregiver or a family member; you have the right to say “NO!”

If you would like to request a copy of the Center’s “Resource Guide for People with Disabilities Who Experience Violence”, please contact us at 520-327-1171 and we can mail you a copy.

The Center provides accessible services to people with disabilities. You have a right to receive support through the healing process.

Here are some ways to help you be safe:

Practice saying “NO!” if someone asks you to do something YOU don’t want to do.
Take classes to help you learn to say what you want and don’t want. Sometimes they are called assertion classes.
Believe that no one has the right to touch your body or ask to see your body if you don’t want them to
If someone try’s to touch you without your permission, you can:

o Say “NO!”, “STOP!”, “DON’T DO THAT!” Say it LOUD!

o Move away from the person.

o If possible, push their hands away from you.

o If they don’t stop, you can kick, bite or hit them.

o Yell for help. Yell “GET AWAY!”

o Then, if you can, run away.

Remember it is never okay for someone to touch you if you don’t want them to. You can call our 24 hour crisis line for support or you can make a report to Adult Protective Services at 1-877-767-2385. You deserve to be safe.

If you are deaf or hard of hearing, you can access our confidential crisis hotline with texting, relay and TTY capabilities during regular business hours at 520-327-1721 or after-hours at 520-235-3358.

Materials Adapted From: “For people with developmental disabilities who have been sexually assaulted- Book II: For People with Disabilities and Their Advocates” by Nora J. Baladerian, Ph.D, CST

Helpful Information for Friends & Family

When someone you love has been sexually assaulted or abused:

What do you do?

What do you say?

How can you help?

Surviving sexual assault can be difficult for everyone. The Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault’s crisis line, walk-in and mental health services are available for both you and your loved one. Every survivor reacts differently. You might see some changes in behavior. Your loved one might become very emotional and have drastic mood swings. Your loved one might become emotionally detached and numb. Some survivors experience a heightened sense of safety. The survivor may want to talk a lot about what happened. Or, the survivor may not want to talk at all. Some survivors seem to go on with their lives unaffected.

If the survivor Is your spouse or partner...

Your partner may need days, weeks, or months before being intimate. Being intimate may include touching, hugging, kissing, or having sex.
Do not take it personally if your partner pulls away. Your partner is responding to the memory of the assault, not to you.
Always listen to your partner. There may be times when your partner might decide that she or he feels ready to be intimate with you, but may suddenly change her or his mind. This is normal.
It is extremely important that you listen to your partner and stop what you are doing immediately.
Your partner needs to know that she/he has complete control over what happens to her/his body.
Tell your partner that you love (care) for him or her. Don’t ever physically force affection on your partner, even if it’s just a hug to show you care.

DO’S AND DON’TS FOR PROVIDING SUPPORT

You can become an important part in your loved one’s healing process. There are several things you can do to help:

DO let your loved one know he/she is not to blame for what happened and there is nothing that justifies sexual assault. Continue telling your loved one, “It was not your fault””.

DO let your loved one lead you and tell you what she or he needs.

DO let your loved one decide whether or not to report to the police and participate in an investigation.

DO help your loved one regain a sense of control over her/his life that was lost during the sexual assault. One way to do this is to let your loved one make decisions and choices without being judged.

DO tell your loved one that he or she is not going crazy.

DO let your loved one know you care and that it is OK to talk about the assault whenever they are ready. Talking is part of the healing process.

DO watch for warning signs. Encourage talking with someone at a mental health agency for help if your loved one might be a danger to himself, herself or to other people. In extreme cases you might have to make the contact yourself.

DON’T ask “why” questions. (For example, “Why were you out so late?” “Why” questions suggest blame).

DON’T assume you already know what will help.

DON’T second guess your loved one’s decision. Your loved one needs to put control back into her or his life.

DON’T take away choices or options. (For example, “I’ll take care of everything because I know what’s best for you”).

DON’T make decisions for your loved one unless you are asked to. Even then, keep him or her informed.

DON’T assume that you know what your loved one is feeling.

DON’T pressure your loved one to talk. Opening up takes time and feeling safe.

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